Midlife Crisis
--------------
Transcribed by: Paul D 

Here's for all you die-hard FNM fans who want to be able to play a FNM
song whether or not it has guitar in it, DAMMIT!
It's really not a difficult song.  It's mostly keyboard-based, so the
majority of what I have here is the keyboard parts arranged for guitar.


Here's the fingering for the keyboard chords that are played under the
verses.  If you've got a guitar synth or some nifty FX processor that'll
produce a cool "stringy" sound for these chords, it might sound pretty
close to the record...
E-|----|-----|-----|-----|-----|
B-|----|-----|-----|-10--|-12--|
G-|-9--|-12--|-11--|-9---|-11--|
D-|-9--|-12--|-9---|-7---|-9---|
A-|-7--|-10--|-9---|-----|-----|
E-|----|-----|-----|-----|-----|
    E    G    B/F#   A     B

Here's the lyrics to the verse and when to play the above chords:

E
Go on and ring my neck
G
Like when a rag gets wet
B/F#
A little discipline
A
For my pet genius
E
My head is like lettuce
G
Go on, dig your thumbs in.
B
I cannot stop giving
(B)
I'm thirtysomething.
E
Sense of security
G
Like pockets jingling
B/F#       A
Midlife crisis
E
Suck ingenuity
G
Down through the family
B      (B)
Tree...

Here's the rest of the verse lyrics:

What an inheritance
The salt and the kleenex
Morbid self-attention
Bending my pinky back
A little discipline
A donor by habit
A little discipline
Rent an opinion.
Sense of security
Holding blunt instrument
Midlife crisis.
I'm a perfectionist
And perfect is a skinned knee.


Okay, here's what I guess you'd call the "chorus", just use any old form of
the chords shown (whatever suits ya'):

E5                              D5
You're perfect yes it's true
        A5    E5               D5      A5
But without me you're only you (you're only you)
     E5                   D5
Your menstruating heart
A5         E (palm mute)
It ain't bleeding enough for two.


Then, for the part that goes "It's a midlife...crisis____" just play the
progression from the verse (way above).


Then after that weird, descending synth effects part (there's really no
way to tab that out OR play it on a guitar...so skip it), play the
following (this is also keyboard arranged for guitar) and sing the "It's a
midlife...crisis_____" three times.
E-|----------------|--------------|-----------------|-----|----||
B-|----------------|--------------|-----------------|-----|-16-||
G-|-14-13-17-16-14-|-16--16-14-16-|-16-14-17--16-14-|-16--|-16-||
D-|----------------|--------------|-----------------|-----|-16-||
A-|----------------|--------------|-----------------|-----|----||
E-|----------------|--------------|-----------------|-----|----||


After that, it's back to the chorus (with the first verse sung in the
background) until the fade-out.  I'm pretty sure about all this stuff.
I'm trying to do it as best as I can from memory.  I may have flubbed a
little as far as "sequence of events", so if there seems to be some part
missing, email me.

But like I said above, if you're looking for a cool "guitar-y" song, this
ain't it...(it still manages to be a kickass song, though!)

Good luck!